What really happened during the filming of Hodor’s fateful ‘Game of Thrones’ scene

The exterior of the Three-Eyed Raven’s cave was built in a quarry near Ballymena, Northern Ireland – a near-perfect bowl-shaped cavity now filled with landscapes, tents and huts. The interior of the cave and the various tunnels were built in the studio in Banbridge, and that is where we will spend most of our time. The walls are covered in moss and the floor is littered with real animal bones. On our first day we are also joined by 85 year old actor Max von Sydow who plays the Three-Eyed Raven – one of the old guard actors I love watching. Physically, Max seems weaker than even Margaret John had been, and I worry that he has been out in the cold for hours. But like Margaret, he can develop into his character as an old professional.

Since returning to the series, this is the first scene where Hodor has to interact. Meera will talk to him about the food she dreams of when they get home. The mention of house and sausage lights up Hodor’s face.

It’s supposed to be a nice, light-hearted moment before all hell breaks loose and the undead descend on us, but I just can’t relax. In fact, I feel suffocated by the enormity of everything that is expected of me. Jesus fucking Christ, Kristian. You have to be on your A gameI say to myself, but I’m so excited that Jack can tell I’m struggling.

“Are you okay?” he asks after a few takes, which I barely got through. “Are you having any problems?”

“Yes, it’s terrible,” the words tumble out of me. Hodor’s subtle tics used to come easily to me, but now I find myself tying myself in knots trying to express them. I explain to Jack the crazy journey I’ve been on over the past year, and also the personal journey I’ve been on. I find it very difficult to live in someone other than myself again. Then I stop. Did I just say all that… to a director I don’t know? I think. Years ago I would have remained silent, just as I did when my back broke in the Great Hall. I stop talking and look intently at Jack’s eyes. Will he understand? Help me solve this? Or fire me and move on?

“Okay, just take it easy,” he smiles.

“It will be fine, but maybe everyone needs to be a little more patient,” I say quickly. Jack squeezes my shoulder.

“Just relax. It will all come back,” he reassures me.

Jack is right, just as John Ruskin had been years ago. And after a while I start to remember: Don’t think too much about Hodor; don’t think too much about your achievements. As the morning progresses, Hodor reappears as an old friend.

(My stunt double) Brian is also worth his weight in gold. Once the magical shield keeping us safe in the cave disappears and the ghosts and White Walkers come for Bran, we have to get out quickly. This means take after take of me pulling Isaac onto the sled, which is attached to the tunnel floor on runners. Luckily, Brian will be taking control of many of these shots – the ones where my face isn’t visible. My back has not yet fully recovered and this also gives me the opportunity to focus on what lies ahead. Moreover, Isaac has gained even more weight in the intervening years.