Master these 8 skills to manage your stress: Shots

Is your to-do list overwhelming? Are the demands of your family or work stressing you out? Or maybe it’s politics, climate change, or global conflict that’s making you feel anxious.

It’s impossible to eliminate all your stress, but science shows that you can learn to manage it better.

For the past two decades, Judith Moskowitz, a research psychologist at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine, has been researching a set of eight skills and practices to help people increase positive emotions and reduce anxiety, even during difficult times. And she has developed an online course to teach these skills, a kind of masterclass in dealing with stress.

“People can absolutely be taught to have positive emotions even when things look pretty bleak,” Moskowitz says.

She has documented this in her research on people going through difficult situations, such as caring for a partner with dementia or living with stage 4 breast cancer and other health issues.

Moskowitz is now launching a new investigation. She wants to evaluate how the skills in the course can help people with everyday stress, the kind of stress we all experience in our daily lives. She opened the course and study for anyone 18 years and older living in the US

Study participants will complete a survey to measure their levels of anxiety and positive emotions before and after the course.

How to participate: Sign up here if you would like to take Northwestern’s online resilience course and participate in the study. Please note: Due to the high level of interest, you may experience delays in registering.

One thing Moskowitz realized early in her research is that even when people are going through a hard time, people still want to talk about positive things, like seeing a beautiful sunset or sharing a meal with a friend. And the people who notice more of these bright spots tend to deal with them better.

Moskowitz’s course can immerse you in these skills. Here’s a quick summary if you want to get started:

1. Positive events

We tend to fixate on the negative. So try this: shift your attention to something good today. It could be a beautiful sky, a delicious bite of fresh fruit or a phone call from a friend.

Moskowitz is a coffee lover, so she suggests taking the time to really enjoy that morning ritual, noticing the smell and feel of the warm mug.

When you pay attention to small pleasures, you may feel a shift toward a sense of calm or comfort.

This is a simple concept, but it goes against our natural instincts. Humans have evolved to pay attention to threats and problems. “That’s adaptive,” says Moskowitz. But don’t miss the good.

2. Enjoy

Now that you’ve noticed a beautiful smell or scent, take some time to enjoy it. The goal here is to make the moment last. Suppose you have great photos from a holiday or party, you can experience positive feelings every time you look at them.

“Think of it as another bout of positive emotion,” says Moskowitz. You can enjoy a moment simply by remembering it, or you can write it down or tell it to someone else. This can enhance positive feelings and give you an emotional buffer when stress and anxiety increase.

3. Gratitude

This one can feel like a platitude. I get it! But before you brush it aside, there has been a lot of research into the benefits. For example, a recent study among women points to a possible extension of lifespan through feelings of gratitude.

So you might ask yourself this: If I had a list of all the things I am grateful for, would it be long? Think of all the people, events and experiences that bring you joy. At first you may only think of a few obvious ones, but with practice, your list can grow longer as you notice more of the little things that enrich your life, says Moskowitz.

4. Daily mindfulness

You’ve probably heard this before: to feel calmer, tune into your experiences in the present moment, instead of getting caught up in your thoughts. But you won’t see the benefit unless you actually take the time to practice it. One way is to focus on your breathing. It’s a shortcut to get rid of the clutter in your head. To try it, find a quiet place and breathe slowly. As you inhale, allow your abdomen to expand. Make sure you exhale slowly, about twice as long. Notice how your breath feels in your belly as it rises and falls.

5. Positive reappraisal

When something unfortunate or unexpected happens, can you find a silver lining? It’s a well-known concept, but Moskowitz says it can pay off. One refrain she uses in her own life when something bad happens is, “It could have been a lot worse.”

Try it the next time you have an unpleasant experience, for example if you take your car in for repairs and it isn’t ready on time. Instead of getting angry, could you use the time to take that walk you really wanted to take? Or treat yourself to some quiet time? It’s not possible to do this in every situation, but it’s a good way to gain perspective on everyday challenges, like losing your keys or missing the bus.

6. Self-compassion

Are you your biggest critic? If your self-talk is negative, that’s a good clue. Many of us “hold ourselves to a very high standard that we would never expect from anyone else,” Moskowitz says. So now it’s time to take the compassion you would show to a friend and turn it to yourself. There are easy ways to try this. For example, take time to do things that make you feel good, or take a lunch break when you’re hungry, instead of putting it off. You can even try giving yourself a gentle hug every now and then.

7. Personal strengths

In the midst of challenges and struggles, we can forget what we are good at. The course therefore offers a technique to recognize your strengths and take stock. Are you a good listener? Empathetic? Are you good at managing details? Knowing your strengths can help you stand strong in the midst of challenges.

8. Achievable goals

Knowing your strengths can make it easier to set goals that align with them. “Research on goal achievement shows that any progress toward a goal increases your positive emotion,” says Moskowitz. So it’s worth taking out a notebook and writing down some goals. “I find it extremely rewarding to cross something off my list,” says Moskowitz. says Moscowwitz.

A growing field of research

You may be skeptical that these simple things can make a difference. And it turned out that Moskowitz was also a skeptic. “My first reaction to anything is, ‘That will never work,’” Moskowitz says.

But after years of documenting the benefits, she’s been converted. Of course, these skills are not magic. They can’t make your stress go away or solve the source of your anxiety, but they can help you become more resilient and find more moments of happiness.

Moskowitz says practicing these skills can help build a “reservoir” of positive energy that you can draw on when it’s time to deal with challenges or annoyances.

“There is good data that feeling positive emotions makes people happier,” says Jeff Huffman, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. But he says more research is needed to understand the mechanisms of positive interventions and the long-term effects of practicing these skills.

“We don’t know if this can impact health in a sustainable way,” he adds.

Huffman has collaborated with Moskowitz on research on the effects of these interventions, and his lab uses many of the same skills to help patients overcome stress and make healthy lifestyle changes.

There is other research in neuroscience that shows that repeatedly practicing certain positive emotions can even change our brains.

Research shows that the parts of the brain that are activated after people are trained in empathy and compassion can start to build new connections.

Just as someone can become good at playing a sport by repeating the same motor movement over and over, the same goes for positive emotional practices, says Jyoti Mishra, a neuroscientist at UC San Diego.. “It can become a self-fulfilling virtuous cycle.”

This also works for emotions like awe and gratitude, neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett told NPR. If you repeatedly practice trading negative feelings for positive ones, you’re more likely to experience positive feelings again, Barrett says.

Get a grip on your stress: To participate in Northwestern’s online resilience course and research: Click here to register. Please note: Due to the high level of interest, you may experience delays in registering.

And for additional tips and insights, and to share your thoughts with us, join our special five-week newsletter series, Stress less. Sign up here.

NB: These strategies have been shown to be beneficial for people dealing with stress from difficult situations, but they are not a substitute for mental health treatments such as counseling or medication.

Vicky Hallett contributed to this story. Editing by Jane Greenhalgh and Carmel Wroth.

The editors of Stress Less are Jane Greenhalgh and Carmel Wroth